I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
