ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
i just made my gag reflex go away.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
