this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
