I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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