is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
It's never too late to be topless.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
