HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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