Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
