Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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