So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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