i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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