i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
