the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I have post one night stand depression
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