Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
