we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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