ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
