with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
