Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize