Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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