Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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