Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
