Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
