He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
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