he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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