the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
