is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
