Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Can I color on your dick again?
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
