Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
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