I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
