I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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