Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
