and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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