is your mom at the bar?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
My dick has a subreddit
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
