he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
