What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
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"here's mine" *attach random dick pic*
"Aww that's cute."
You say "That would go nicely here!" and attach a pic of your preferred receptacle. Mouth, vag, ass, or garbage can.
"Size doesnt matter"
oh! that reminded me... cans of vienna sausages are on sale. 2 for 1
"I want it in my mouth"
Say "thank you sir, may I have another?"
Did you crop it?
"Where's the rest of it?"
any dignified self preserving male would reply "I only got that much to fit in the picture. there's still another handful left to be seen"
Any dignified male would never send a dick pic.What the hell is wrong with you people?
Say, "That's it?"
"Grandpa, stop texting me. It's getting creepy."
"Gee, it's just like a real penis, only smaller!" (h/t Spider Robinson)
"THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You say, "Nice penis." Anything else would be rude.
Send back a pic of one bigger.
This butt's for you.
Mr Sandusky how did you get a cell phone in prison?
No thanks, already had peanuts today.
I always appreciate "impressive"
I saw on a message that they replied to something random with a pic of bacon. I think it's a pretty solid idea. But personally when in doubt I reply with an adorable pic of Goober, the cat.