Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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