As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
