I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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