there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
