How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
