my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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