Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
