summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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