This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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