Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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