haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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