No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Be still, my beating vagina.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
