I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Come see our sink grown plant.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
