What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
