Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
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This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
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Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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