Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
