So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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