I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
how drunk are you?
Several
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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