are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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