So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize