I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
You were trust falling into bushes
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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