You can't special order awesome
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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