hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
