As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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