So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
