3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Randomize
