just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
This is my gift to your gina
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Randomize
