you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
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we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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