So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.