Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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