summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
