we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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