i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Sober January is a disaster.
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i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
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We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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