You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
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You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
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The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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