thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
this boner is exhausting
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
